Growing Toddlers || Raising Kind Humans

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends! We don’t have daycare today so I’m home with Ivy and I couldn’t be more excited for it. We’ll be spending the day with a little party that’ll include a special heart-themed breakfast and making cookies… and of course a little dance party 🙂 We’ll then celebrate with Mr. H when we gets home from work. Hopefully you all have something fun planned to celebrate the day of love with your kiddos/significant other.

Today I wanted to write about a quote I came across on Instagram the other week that I can’t seem to get out of my head. It said: We need to care less about whether our children are academically gifted and more about whether they sit with the lonely kids in the cafeteria. I don’t know about you, but it just pulled at my heartstrings a little bit. I think because I’ve personally seen both sides – being that lonely kid in the cafeteria and the parent who’s worried I’m not doing enough to prep my TWO year old for school in a few years.

So, a little background on the lonely kid part. The summer before I was about to start sixth grade my parents bought a new house in a different city that required I switch schools. I was super excited about the new house but pretty disappointed to be leaving my friends I’d grown up with. In addition the school district I was moving to had elementary school through 6th grade while my old district started junior high in 6th grade – talk about taking a step back in the eyes of an 11-year-old (can you tell I’m still a little salty about it).

Anyway, the first day of school came and it was terrible. I remember, to this day, sitting down to eat lunch by myself and hearing kids whispering about me and not one kid came over to sit by me or talk to me. I went home crying, telling my parents I didn’t want to go back to school because I didn’t have any friends and no one was ever going to be friends with me. As a parent now myself, I can only imagine how much it broke their hearts to hear that. I remember them telling me to give it some time, that eventually I would make friends, which I did, but after that experience I told myself that I wouldn’t let a new kid feel like I did. And this is a characteristic I hope to instill in Ivy as she gets older.

Let’s fast forward to today. I’m a first-time mom and I’ll be first to admit that I struggle with being overly concerned about how quickly Ivy’s learning and picking up on things. I sometimes need to step back and remember that she’s only two and that there’s going to be so much time in her future years that are spent in a classroom and doing homework. Now shouldn’t be the time to force her into too much structured “play”. That’s not to say that I won’t still encourage fun, learning activities – that should never stop. But I won’t be the mom who never lets her kid do “free play” – I think that’s where their creativity and imagination get to run wild!

On the flip side, teaching a toddler about kindness isn’t the easiest, but I’m trying! We’re starting with our manners – she’s doing great with her please, thank you, you’re welcome and excuse me. I also make sure we always include kids in our play in public places (though she’s just getting to the age where she’s starting to actually play with kids rather than playing next to them). As she gets older, we’ll probably participate in some volunteering opportunities, various donations, etc.

Also let me know – what are your thoughts on this quote? As a parent, do you find yourself worrying about how quickly/far along your child’s development is for his/her age? Is kindness something you’re working on teaching your toddlers? If so, how are you teaching them?