I don’t know what it was with potty training, but I think I feared that season more than any other season we’ve had in Ivy’s short life. Because of that, I waited until we were both absolutely ready for it. That meant it wasn’t until she was almost 3, but we were successful.
First things first. I’m by no means an expert but I wanted to share our experience in hopes it helps your experience. I’m a planner by nature, so I made sure I had read up on a few methods before I dived into which one I thought would work for our family. Since that’s likely what you’re doing now, it’s the perfect first step!
Are You Ready for Tinkles and Toots?
There’s one big question to ask yourself before moving from the “research” phase to the “let’s do this” phase: are me AND my child ready to start? Be honest with yourself because your child’s success largely depends on you.
It’s important that you clear your calendar for a few days to ensure you’re close to a toilet. I would recommend giving yourself at least three days, which I’ll explain why later. With potty training, timing is everything.
When picking a time to start training, I also recommend considering what else you or your family have going on those days. If you have big milestones around that week/weekend (a new job, moving, first-trimester pregnancy, bringing home a new baby, etc.), it may be best to wait. The last thing you want is to half-ass it. Remember, you want your kiddo out of diapers for good, not just a few days.
How Do I Know My Child’s Ready?
So we determined you are ready, but how do you know if your child is? Here’s a few signs your toddler may be doing to show they’re ready to move out of diapers.
- Shows interest in using the toilet
- Stays dry in diapers longer
- Tells you when they have a wet/dirty diaper
- Talks about going potty on the toilet
- “Hides” when going peeing/pooping in their diaper
Is your kid giving you the “potty signals”? You found a weekend clear of all plans? Awesome! You’re now ready for the “prep” stage. In my opinion, this is the fun part.
Pre-Potty Training Prep
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This can be a confusing and scary time for your toddler. They haven’t had to consider when or where they go to the bathroom – it’s just always been in their diaper. Learning to read their body’s signals isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight. It’s going to take time and there will be accidents. Let me repeat that so it sinks in. It’s going to take time and there WILL be accidents.
What You Need to Get Started
So what can you do to make sure your toddler succeeds the first time around? Well, prep them with the essentials, of course. And start getting them excited before the big day arrives.
Here’s some of my must-have essentials for potty training.
- Fun new undies
- A perfect way to get them involved and excited before the big day is to take them shopping so they can pick out their new undies
- A book or two that encourages going on the potty
- A toddler training potty – decide if you want a potty chair or a toddler seat that goes on your toilet seat
- Flushable wipes (trust me, this will make your life easier when you’re wiping a poopy butt)
- Rewards for motivation and success (we’ll talk more about this later)
- Sticker charts, candy, play doh, hair bows, etc.
- Plenty of stain remover and/or OxyClean (remember, there will be accidents!)
Alert Your Caregivers
Once you decide on the weekend you will start training, give all caregivers the heads up. Ivy goes to daycare so we needed our provider to be on the same page with training since she cares for her during the work week.
In the days leading up to the weekend of our training, I let our provider know what our approach was going to be. We then discussed how she could help Ivy succeed in the days/weeks after our potty training weekend. We’re so fortunate with our provider because she encouraged Ivy to sit on the potty at the top of every hour until she felt Ivy was confident enough to know when she needed to go without be prompted.
It’s Potty Training Day! Now What?
Hopefully you’ve been hyping up the arrival of potty training day to your toddler already. Saying something like, “we’re going to start our potty training soon – isn’t that so exciting” a couple of times a day in the week or two leading up to the day is sufficient. You don’t want to overwhelm or scare them that life is going to be crazy different.
Our potty training process focused on trying to mostly train in three days. I chose a long weekend, where we didn’t have daycare on Monday, to start. I went into weekend with the mindset that we weren’t going back to diapers and pull-ups weren’t an option. So we needed the weekend to be a success.
Day One
We woke up Saturday morning and said sayonara to diapers (at least until nap time). We also said see ya later to pants, which was quite frightening at first.
Then we watched Ivy and we watched the clock. I put her on the toilet a few times in the morning, some times successful with her peeing, other times not. By late morning we began to recognize her potty cues, making it easier to rush her to the toilet to avoid an accident.
I knew it would be important that she didn’t participate in activities that would be hard to pull her away from. She got more screen time then normal, just because I could easily pause her video or TV show while we took a potty break.
We successfully got through our first day with no pee accidents and one (minor) poop accident.
Day Two
Day two was a lot like day 1 only we put pants on her, but no underwear yet. Also much like day one, we stayed inside and had minimal activities. Again, I didn’t want her to get too involved in something and not realize she needed to use the bathroom.
If memory serves me correctly, we had one small pee accident (like it wasn’t a full bladder kind of accident) and that was it.
Day Three
Day three we treated the same as day two in terms of how she was dressed. The big difference was letting her play outside. While we still watched for any potty cues, letting her play outside was a way to introduce “every day life” to her. And while I wish I could say we were successful, there was a poop accident that required a change of pants and reminder that “we need to stop what we’re doing and use the toilet if we have to go potty”.
Overall, I was pleasantly surprised with the progress we made in just a few days.
Nap and Night Training
One big callout I want to make about our training: we didn’t sleep train at the same time. We still put on diapers during nap time and at bedtime but made it very clear that diapers were only to be used when sleeping.
This decision was mostly a selfish one. As a working parent, I just didn’t have it in me to wake up in the middle of the night to get her to the toilet to try and go. Plus, Ivy’s a good sleeper and I don’t know how she’d react to a middle of the night wakeup call. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.
She actually ended up transitioning herself out of diapers on her own. Daycare watched nap time for a few days to see if she would wake up dry and finally stopped putting them on her. She stayed in diaper overnight for about a month longer but after being dry for two straight weeks we stopped using them. It’s now been a couple of months and we’ve only had one accident (and that was actually within the last couple of weeks).
Rewards
I want to touch briefly on the subject of rewards. I feel this is completely up to each parent on how to want to handle. During my research I found there were people who used rewards and those who strongly advised against it. Who’s right? I don’t know. I just know what my personal preference was, which was to use them in moderation.
The argument for those against it was that using the toilet is a social norm and it shouldn’t be rewarded. They compared rewarding during potty training to the likes of teaching your child how to walk – you likely didn’t offer up rewards then. Which is totally a valid point.
So why did I give rewards and how did I go about doing it? We all know that old saying,”you catch more bees with honey”; well, when potty training I say, “clean up chocolate, not pee and poop”.
How to Reward in Moderation
I knew going into day one that I would be rewarding with m&ms. I know my daughter enough to know she can be better motivated when there’s an incentive (like most humans). So every time she successfully peed or pooped in the toilet on day one she received a few m&m’s.
Day one ended successfully, but also with a sugar high. Day two needed something a little different if I didn’t want to start paying a hefty dental bill. So rather than giving candy as a reward, we used a sticker chart, which I think she actually ended up liking more.
I bought some Paw Patrol stickers at the dollar store and we taped a sheet of stickers, along with the sticker chart, to the wall in the bathroom. For every time she peed in the toilet, she could put one sticker on the chart; if she pooped it was two stickers. Once the sticker chart was full, she got to pick her treat (which ended up being a big Tootsie pop).
We used the sticker chart for about a month and explained to her when it was done that knowing when to go potty, and not having accidents in our undies and pants, is something that big kids do. You don’t always get rewarded for it. She seems good with that response and will only sometimes ask for a treat after pooping (which I’m totally okay with).
Post-Potty Training
You may find that your child is doing great for days at a time and then all of a sudden they have an accident. Don’t get discouraged; it’s going to happen. It’s still important that you keep reminding (or even telling them if they seem to resist) they need to use the bathroom. If there’s an accident, don’t scorn them, but be direct in reminding them that pee and poop go in the toilet, not in undies.
We’re a few months in and I’m still telling Ivy she needs to go potty. For the most part she’s good about letting me know, or heading to the bathroom on her own, but that’s not always the case. She also seems to always need a reminder first thing in the morning and right before bed.
One last thing. Be conscientious about the amount of liquid you’re allowing your child to consume. If you’re going to have a long car ride, or heading to an activity with limited restrooms, don’t let them drink a ton. The same should be considered prior to bedtime. Your toddler is likely sleeping 10-12 hours, which can be a long time to hold their bladders if it’s too full.
So, there it is. My thoughts and experience around potty training. I hope you have picked up a few tips your family can use. Leave a comment below on what you found helpful or share some tips of your own!
